didn't really meditate yesterday or the day before, too hectic. Maybe 5 minutes of meditation like behavior for each of those days Today 14 minutes of so-so meditation followed by a walk up to the park and around the simple loop up there. Kept a good pace and it wasn't too bad.

15 minutes of meditation. Not great, but solid. Hopefully some yoga, then breakfast, then KYUDO!!!

Forgot to log yesterday. Did two 7 minute sessions of meditation and 10 minutes of calisthenics plus some additional yoga and stretching. Today did some stretching and yoga followed by 13 minutes of meditation. Had a bunch of weird bodily sensations, including being taller than myself and feeling like I was shaking.

16 minutes of meditation. Some good quality in there I felt. <20 kettlebell swings. Hips and back generally unhappy.

10 minutes meditation on the step, not terribly focused but mind was less jittery. Some yoga poses, hopefully do some kettlebell stuff later. Some 1/2hand swings, and wall squats. Got a light sweat going. Done fasted.

Didn't log it yesterday did some very short crappy meditation in the park with progressive relaxation at night. Poor quality in general Today 12 minutes of meditation of medium quality. Some yoga and bands.

15 minutes of meditation. Some very good focus, could also hear, more feel, my heartbeat after a while. That opens some interesting biofeedback doors for the future. A few reps of static yoga shit. Really not feeling the exercise today. Hopefully I'll get up the energy for some bands or kettlebell work later.

8 minutes of meditation. Incredibly bad focus, just gave up. Try again after exercise. push press, wall squat, heel raise done circuit style very little rest between them. For wall squats focus was on depth,pausing and upper back activation. Did 5ish circuits? Gentle walk in the park.

14 minutes of meditation. Hard to focus, but got better till I was interrupted by the cat. Still some quality work there. 2 hand swings, push presses, rows and wall squats. Tried to keep more or less continuous motion, elevated heart rate. Upper middle back on the right side is tight and over activated compared to left. Tried to shift focus and failed.

15 minutes meditation on the stairs. Cross legged, to sitting leaned forward, sitting up right, back to cross legged. Bit restless body wise but brain felt...still? Focus wasn't amazing but not awful either. Light stretching. Some light push up/downward/upward dog stuff.

Return

Went to yosemite to help a friend so meditation was minimized (maybe 6 minutes over 2 days) but lot's and lot's of hiking. Today 6 minutes of meditation, very difficult. Some pushup/downward/upward facing dog and that's it. Still sore from the hiking.

Woke up late, somewhat groggy from 25 mgs of diphenhydramine. 16 minutes of terrible quality meditation. Tried several new positions, cross legged on a cushion, lying down and half lotus. Upper middle back got tight and fatigued in the sitting positions making concentration difficult. Do another session tonight hopefully to make up for this atrocity. pushup position/downward/upward facing dog holds. Some light stretching. Crunches, shoulder bridges, wall squats, 2 hand swings and RDL's. Very little work but heart rate jumped.

11 minutes. Hopefully I'll do a second session. Felt restless and...dark? A new somewhat unpleasant experience that I strove to sit with, obviously that ability needs some work. If that is indeed an ability I want to cultivate. Pushup planks, downward/upward facing dogs. 2 hand swings, 1 hand holds, around the worlds, never putting the bell down.

Meditated for 21 minutes straight.Initially my mind strayed frequently but only for very short stints (like 1-2 breaths), which feels like progress. Eventually I got some good focus on breath and body but midway-ish my focus started to wane drifting off on fewer but longer tangents. Towards the end my focus returned and I ended on what felt like a high note. Did the meditiation outside on the deck in the sun, cross legged back against the wall. Right foot fell asleep, didn't notice till I went to stand and it was numb. Either that's good focus or bad body awareness. Some downward/upward facing dog poses and one toughish set of 2 hand swings (24kg), going a little easy since I'll be hiking 7+ miles with an elevation gain of 2,000 ft. tomorrow.

Quality over quantity

13 minutes of meditation today. Focus is still somewhat lacking but the distractions seem less frantic. I feel like I never strayed from concentrating on my breath for more than a couple of breaths, unlike the increased time this FEELS like progress. As such I'll take the decreased time and call it a good day. Did some pushups and downward/upward facing dog and calf raises. Nothing very strenuous.

21 minutes of solid meditation. I did it on the stairs and spent some time in "improper posture" leaning forward forearms on knees. Focus was pretty poor but the time is much better. I say 4/10 rating in terms of focus and that's comparable or slightly better than I would've rated my other sessions Some swings and then helping friends move.

Unfocused. Refocus

16 minutes of meditation. KB clean and press, clean for every press 24kgx5/5 4/4 3/3 2/2 1/1 First 3 rungs were done consecutively, never putting the bell down. Restarted Intermittent Fasting. Broke the fast with an EFA pill and some greek yogurt+protein powder.

18 minutes of meditation outside in the sun. Some interesting bodily sensations reminiscent of dreams I've had. Feelings of sort of... restrictive softness. Some brain chatter initially but probably the best stretches of acceptable focus in a while 15 minutes kettlebell stuff. 2/1hand swings, waiters and 1 arm farmers walks

Renewed effort and word vomit

Trying once again to restart good habits and forge new ones. I've been meditating every morning followed by some kettlebell work for about three days now. Length of meditation has increased by about a minute or two every day. My mind still feels chatty, ADHD and somewhat out of control but the increased time (with out feeling like I'm working longer) suggests that my focus is getting better even if I don't feel it. Right now I'm just working on focusing on my breath, and checking in on my breath every now and then during the day. I've also played a bit with focusing on individual senses and working on noticing things and then focusing on them and then redirecting the focus. Kettlebell work has been purely instinctual and involves nothing what I want to do right now that's a fair amount of two handed swings, side bends and some extended ROM SLDL's all with a 24kg bell. Meditated for 16 minutes today Did some light shoulder, upper back, tricep, bicep and wrist work with the light bands. Just enough for a small pump and a barely noticable burn. Band and kettlebell work is still sort of intuitive and I think that's fine. Need to titrate in some stretching/calisthenics/yoga to regain some kinesthetic sense and flexiblity. In terms of meditative goals, twenty minutes of breath focus seems good as well as an increase in quality. Eventually I'd like to work on Jack Kornfield's grief meditation as well as some sensory/seperateness focusing but that will come when I've got better focus. Crawl before you walk. Need to focus on changing body comp as well, I weighed 219 yesterday. Tomorrow I'll measure BF% and we'll focus on getting down to 200.